Jokes you can bust out in your wedding speech
Not sure how to make your wedding speech shine? Don't stress, there's a simple solution - inject it with some humor! When you add laughs and jokes into the mix, not only will you be more memorable but folks won't have time to check their phones. To help get those funny juices flowing here are some hilarious one-liners that'll leave people in stitches!
Wedding Appropriate Jokes
The Upper Hand Joke
You can end your toast by saying: "Dave, take Rebecca’s hand and place your hand over hers. Now, remember and cherish this very moment... because Dave, this is the last time you are ever going to have the upper hand"
A Few Words For The Groom
To keep your marriage brimming with love in the marriage cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it, whenever you're right, remember to just keep your mouth shut.
Remember These Words
Grooms, once you marry, please remember that whenever you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember these two last words: "Yes dear"
Is Marriage An Institution?
in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is not a word
It’s a sentence…a life sentence!
The Art of Self Defence
Before marriage, a man holds a woman's hand out of love; after marriage, it is out of self-defense.
Born Free And Equal
It’s true that all men are born free and equal – but some of them get married.
Perfect Wife
A perfect wife is one who knows where they should go out for dinner.
Wife Wanted
A bloke placed an ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. The very next day he received hundreds of letters that all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
Types of rings
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of “Rings”:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The Endure Ring
The Suffer Ring
Rings
Marriage is something that puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under a man’s eyes.
Years of Marriage
Married life can be full of excitement and frustration.
During the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens.
During the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
By the third year, BOTH of them are speaking, and the neighbours are listening.
Alarm clock
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
10 Years
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year-married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Incomplete man
A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
the Wedding key gag
Take as many keys as you can from the wedding party and friends without letting the bride and groom know. Distribute them to as many women as you can, making sure they don't say anything. During your speech, say “The bride knows that the groom has had a lot of girlfriends in the past, and would really appreciate it if any of them who have keys to his place could please return them.” This is the cue for everyone with a key to bring it to the wedding table. It would also be hilarious if you got a couple of pregnant women and maybe someone’s grandmother into the group.
Basically, wedding jokes are just witty and humorous lines about marriage and relationships. You should also be sincere when giving advice, congratulations, and well wishes to the newlywed couple. Whatever the case may be, incorporating these small quotes will make your ceremony more memorable and meaningful to your audience.